.

I knew this would happen.

I knew I would not keep up with this silly thing. 

Oh well, 

This school year is shaping up to be completely different then the last.  Taking classes I am interested in, meeting people who I will one day have to compete with in the Job market.  I will find a way to win, I am very competitive when it comes to certain things, and being more creative, faster(mostly in my car), and higher grades, to name a few.  

This school year is also bring a variety of challenges; pulling two all nighters in a row was the high light of it thus far.  

I feel like I have four million things to say to everyone but not a single sentence comes to mind. 

This New Year was certainly an interesting time, I just hung out with friends; sparklers were involved due to tradition and due to the fact that they are entirely needed to have a good time.  

For the second time in a row I meet some one right before Winter break,  I wonder if it will happen again next year? I think everyone knows the situation that ensued.  I know I may not express my feelings very often but that is just how I am.  I am usually a very happy and carefree person, but that in no way means I do not have other ones.  It is hard for me to make the first move, tell people I like them, and do things of such.  So when something does happen, when I meet someone I get nervous, I come up with excuses an

d act like it's not a big deal.  That may have caused the current situation to happen, maybe it did not.  I do not know, all I know is that people I trusted, people I liked lied to me, which although I did not show it, although I told everyone whatever, It made me want to throw up, my stomach was in knots when I thought about it.  I am trying not to feel like I do not want to be at the house cause It is my house and I refuse to feel like I should not be here.  I can not wait to move out, to get away from the place that holds all of those memories I should be able to cherish, the times where I can look back and laugh, the songs I can sing to remember all those times.  All I have now is a date to look forward too, bad memories and good songs I can not stand to listen too.  All I can say is I hope you continue on your path of bridge burning cause one day you are going to burn yourself onto an island.  

For my history of advertising class I have to write a report and the person I picked is turning out to be extremely interesting. His speech's, his attitude

 towards life, is process is all something I want to follow.  I read what he says and I feel like I can easily subscribe to what he is saying that by reading this I understand exactly what he means and as of right now I can implement all of his wisdom and words of advise.   

That is when I realize I have no idea what he is talking about, that although I feel like I have aged, grown, acquired knowledge, I am still so far away from developing/implementing/subscribing to any sort of life strategy.  I am far too young, far to understand someone who has decades of experience in the real world, I can barely pay for rent..... This is making me terrified.  I am terrified that I wo

nt be able to live up to my own standards let alone some one who is an industry leader, who owns the company I dream of working for.  But this is a good thing I feel; although I cant scratch the surface of what he is talking about I am making steps to understand.  I have finally picked a goal, picked a place where I want to work, live and prosper.  I have made it my goal to understand everything that Dan Wieden means, to work at Wieden+Kennedy, to become an Art Director, to be creative everyday of my life, to travel, and to be able to support myself with my job.  That is my goal. 

I think that is pretty good. 

P.S. I do not think any one knows how much I would love to major in Art History. I am not even lying.