I want to feel the way I feel when I am rushing down the stairs and suddenly realize I forgot how to use the stairs.  I forgot how to control my legs, control my nerves, my mind.  When I seize up realizing how I just killed myself by using these stupid stairs.  

I am out of my mind sometimes ( most of the time).

I need to stop thinking things are going to happen for me.  I need to make things happen more often. 

Things can never be as easy as going down a flight of stairs can they. 

never.

Steven