Today

at work I served an elderly couple high tea.  After working five hour straight on a Saturday the servers that are still on take on tables like weights on their backs.  So after walking by there table a half dozen times, slowing coming to the realization that they were my table.  I approached them, putting my face, hiding how hungry I was, how behind I am due to the fact that people are trained improperly.  I ask them how they are and realize that the man is acting strange, the woman was very pleasant and told me they would be getting Afternoon tea for two. I took their order and walked away realizing that he had some sort of Alzheimer's or a related disorder. 

Between making my various espresso drinks and tea pots I could not get the idea of that man and woman out of my head.  Every time I would walk by and ask them how they were doing I was always greeted with a warm smile and a thank you.  This woman would talk to her husband, who seemed, to my eyes not very aware or capable of conversing back, she seemed so happy and context.  She did not talk down to him, she did not seemed at all bothered with that fact that he may not be able to understand him, she would talk to him like a person.  She would ask him questions, not to keep up with some charade, she seemed so genuine.  I wanted to ask her how she could be so strong.  I wanted to ask her what kept her going, what made her come to have Afternoon tea with her husband, what made her happy when all the odds are for un-happiness.  When she asked me for the check I started to suddenly feel sorry for her, how I feel bad for her in her situation. How maybe I can enter only one Afternoon tea instead of two. 

I then realized, I have no reason to feel sorry.  I should not take pity on this woman who by all accounts has every reason to be un-happy, to stay at home and sulk, but isn't.  Things may not be what the used to for them, but the least I can do is not raise my self above this person who is measures beyond stronger then me. 

I'm not sure if you understand what I am getting at, but for some reason I am running myself in circles a lot, but I think it is all for the best. 

This is one of the hardest words for me to spell.